ZPM Lamps, Haggis & Birthdays Oh My!
by Zigzag Tiger
Summary: When Carson is steered away from the Mess Hall one too many times, he starts to get a little hungry..


**A/N So. My first Fanfic. I'm probably just going to be writing five, so that I can become a Beta. But I might write more if I feel like I'm writing well. I hope it works out :) I'm not great at writing, but I love correcting peoples mistakes. Don't ask me why lol. Wish me luck! :D And review if you have the time, although I won't be terribly fussed if you don't. Also, I'm Australian, so if you're American, some of the words may be a little different, like _colour, favourite, biscuit.. _Anyway, I'm just going to jump straight into the action.. If you could call it that xD **

**Here we go...  
**

_**It was his**_ Birthday. His second birthday in his new home. Atlantis, the lost city of the Ancients. He was kind of surprised that they had made it this far. The Wraith were still a threat, but not as much as usual, as they thought Atlantis had exploded, when they had invaded. But they were still here, and damn well proud of the fact. So he was expecting a nice, quiet birthday, this year.. If his expectations are met, then it'll be the first time ever, out of him and his friends.

People had been steering him away from the Mess hall all day, and on purpose or not, it was starting to irk him. And he was _really_ starting to get hungry, as well! It was midday, and he hadn't eaten since about 8:00 last night, courtesy of a late dinner. He had stayed up until Midnight, waiting for the day to tick over.. A little lad's thing to do, but it was a special thing, Birthdays in the Pegasus Galaxy.. It wasn't anything unusual to stay up that late on Atlantis, but now and again it was nice to get the normal amount of sleep. And he knew people could need him at any time of the day, he being the Chief Medical Doctor, so rest was very important.

Carson Beckett was walking through Atlantis towards the mess hall, ready for another attempt at getting food, when John approached him. He looked nervous, almost suspicious.. "Hey, Carson!" He smiled.

"Hello, Colonel." Carson answered. "I was just going to get something to eat. Would ye care to join me?"

"Sorry Carson, maybe another time.. Actually, could you come with me? I need to show you something."

"Aye.. I'll eat after, if it's important.." Carson said, perplexed, hiding his annoyance well. He groaned inwardly at another failed attempt.

"It is. This way." John let him around in the opposite direction, towards one of the uninhabited areas of the city.

All day, people had been smiling at him, and asking him how he was, and acting like they all knew something that he didn't.. They were acting very strange.. And he had hardly seen any of his friends all day! He had started to think that he had done something wrong. He couldn't recall anything that might of happened to make them angry at him, though.. Oh.. Maybe it was because he wouldn't let SGA-1 eat their beloved Oreos, when they were stuck in the Infirmary a few weeks back.. But that doesn't explain why they were avoiding him today, and weren't in all those weeks since the Infirmary..

They had been walking for at least another 20 minutes, and Carson was getting impatient, and not to mention _hungry_!

"Where _are_ ye taking me, lad?" He asked, very confused. John didn't answer, but rather quickened his pace. He didn't understand why they didn't take a transporter either.. It would of made the trip a lot quicker.. They were so far out now, that the place was absolutely deserted. Not _one_ person walking by. His stomach growled, for what seemed like the 50th time today. He hoped that there was food, wherever they were going.

They were walking for about 10 more minutes, when they found Rodney waiting at the end of the corridor.

"You took your time!" He said impatiently. "Come on!" They rounded the corner, and Carson saw a couple of people walking into a room, just ahead. He was pretty darn sure it was Teyla and Elizabeth.

"I thought-" Carson looked around. John had disappeared! "Where's the Colonel gone?" He asked Rodney.

"Never mind that! Come in here!" Rodney snapped. They walked into the room where the two people had disappeared into, and three things happened, rather suddenly-

First, a wonderful smell hit Carson's nose... The _wonderful_ smell of food. _Finally!_ It's about time!

Second, the _sight_ of the food! Fish, that he recognised from the mainland.. He had been fishing there, only a couple of weeks back. Haggis! Where did they get _that_ from! He was pretty sure that no-one on the base even liked it, except for himself, of course. And a variety of other foods. But they were the main ones that caught his eye.

And thirdly, all the people! All of his friends! Teyla, and Elizabeth, it _must_ of been them that he saw! Radek, Chuck, Amelia, and a whole heap of others. He also saw a couple of Athosians next to Teyla, as well. He couldn't spot Ronon, or John there, though.

At least he knew why people had been steering him away from the Mess, all day. He felt relieved that he hadn't done anything to upset them. They had simply been preparing a party for him, and hadn't wanted him to see all the food! He hadn't realised how worried he had been, until now.

"**Happy Birthday Carson!**" Everyone yelled! He flinched, because Rodney yelled right in his ear. God, could people _shout_ when they wanted to! Talk about a surprise party! He couldn't believe that he didn't even suspect it!

Behind him, Ronon and John staggered in, carrying a _gigantic_ cake! You could tell it was heavy, when Ronon was staggering! It was easily enough for 50 people! And what made it better, was it was cheesecake! His _favourite_! It had so many candles on it as well, all lit! That was the advantage of having a huge cake, he guessed. Could fit 100 candles on it, easily.. Hopefully he would have a cake like that, (with 100 candles) one day..

"Wha-What's all thi-is?" Carson stuttered, amazed.

"What? Don't you like it?" Rodney groaned, disappointed, "I _told_ you we should of gone for the mud cake! Who likes _cheesecake_!" He shot at John.

"I do!" He exclaimed, hurt. "And Carson does too, don't you! You told me yourself!" He turned his head towards Carson, still burdened by the cake.

"Aye! Of course I do! I _love_ cheesecake!" He said hurriedly, to prevent any serious arguing from breaking out. "It's just that.. I just wasn't expecting that ye would do anything like this for me!"

"Of course we would," Elizabeth said warmly, "How could we not? We wouldn't ever forget about you, Carson!" Ronon and John moved forwards, to put the cake on the round empty table in the middle of the room.

"Th-Thank you..!" Carson replied, still too shocked to say anything else. Rodney turned to look at him, relieved.

"You _do_ like cheesecake!" He exclaimed "I never knew that! Why didn't you tell me last year?" He rolled his eyes. "I could of given you a cheesecake, instead of that stupid ZPM lamp!" Last year, Rodney had made him a lamp. A lamp that lit up like a ZPM (and of course it was in the shape of one as well). It was quite good, but the thing was, he had no use for it, as he already had enough lights, _and_ no-where to put it! Of course, he never told Rodney that, as he would of likely had a fit.. But being Rodney, he found out. So he fitted a table into Carson's office (or rather forced it in), and put the lamp there. Now Carson's office is over lit. If the Infirmary was really dark, and you neaded light urgently, only then would you turn Carson's lights on, for fear of being blinded.

"I like that lamp, Rodney."

"Yeah, right! That's why it was lying dumped in your room!" He scoffed

"It wasn't lying 'dumped', I just hadn't gotten round to clearing out any space for it." Carson argued.

"Okay, okay, break it up boys.." Elizabeth said, amusement glittering in her eyes.

"Yeah, let's get this party started!" John excitedly exclaimed, "But first, you've got to blow your candles out, like a good little boy.." John stared at Carson expectantly. Carson sighed. But he might as well have as much fun as he possibly can, all the while making sure his friends had a great time! John's eyes lit up as he saw Carson move forwards to blow the candles out.

Carson sighed in relief. He managed to blow them out in one go.. He never used to be able to as a wee lad.. Everyone cheered!

Now for cutting the cake.. "Carson, would you do the honours?" John went on, in his most formal accent, producing a knife from nowhere, and offering it to Carson.  
Carson accepted the knife, and approached the cake, everyone's eyes trained on him. He only hoped that he didn't mutilate the cake.. He was never very good at cutting cakes.. He stepped up to the cake, and plunged the knife into it. The cake was big, but just a normal depth.

He started to cut it into to half,  
and half again,  
and half again.. And so on...

After a while, he finished, and he even managed not to mutilate the cake! And he was very proud of the fact.. It was quite surprising how many people were addicted to cake, (especially cheesecake!) in the expedition.. "Now it's time to eat!" Rodney said, practically bouncing around the room in his excitement. "About time!"  
And for once, Carson couldn't agree more. Carson let Rodney take first slice, then of course he took the second. As everyone got their slices, chatter broke out.

**_...ooooOOOO^^^OOOOoooo..._**

Carson went over to find John. He found him next to.. A pile of presents! Holy Hannah, was it _big_! He didn't even notice it, as he walked in! There had to be at least 30 presents there, if not more! "Hello, Colonel.."

"Oh, hey Carson! Having a nice time?"

"Aye! It's great! I cannae believe that ye do something like this for me!" Carson exclaimed, "Thank you again!"

"Oh, no.. It's nothing, we all contributed." John replied, being modest, as usual.

"Well, anyway, I just wanted to ask ye.. Why didn't we just take a transporter over here..? It would of been much easier, wouldn't of it?"

"Ah.. Well.. The same reason as you kept those Oreos from us, I guess.. For your health.." He said awkwardly, but with an evil glint in his eye. "Well, anyway.. I need to.. Uh.. Talk to Elizabeth about something.. I'll.. Catch up with you later! See you!" He shot off.

"Wait-! Ahh.. Never mind.." Carson shook his head.. "I knew they wouldn't of just let that go.." He muttered to himself, smiling, despite himself.

He noticed Rodney at the food table, looking a little lost, so started walking over to talk to him. As he approached, he realised that the reason Rodney looked lost, was that he just couldn't decide what to eat. Carson snorted in amusement. It was the first time, since the party had started, that he had seen him not eating something. There had always been something in his mouth. Not that this was any different from usual.. As Carson stepped up to pile some haggis onto his plate, Rodney finally decided to grab a couple of meat pies.

"How can you _eat_ that stuff, Carson!" Rodney sounded genuinely confused.. Rodney had a way of being confused, but being rude at the same time, without meaning to be. "It's absolutely _disgusting_! You remember what happened, last time you brought this stuff in to torture everyone.." He looked disgusted.

"Aye, I know, but this time I'm not forcing anyone to eat it.. And it wasn't _torture_, Rodney! And also, I didn't even know that we had any!" Carson broke off for a second "Actually, come to think of it.. How did ye get any here, anyway?" He asked.

"Well, the Daedalus, of course, how else?" He said, as though he thought Carson was stupid.

"That's not what I mean.." Carson sighed.

"I know what you mean" Rodney snapped, stuffing one of the pies into his mouth.

"Then why did ye do it.. Just for the party? I doubt it.."

"Let's just say that it's making up for the lamp, and leave it at that." Rodney walked off to go and argue with Radek, leaving Carson to finish his haggis in peace.

**_****...ooooOOOO^^^OOOOoooo...****_**

After quite awhile of chatting with people, John walked up to the front of the room, next to the pile of presents that he had been standing next to earlier.

"Okay, I'm sure Carson is just _busting_ to open his _pressies_... So, off you go, Carson." He backed off smiling. Carson blushed a bit, when everyone turned towards him expectantly. He started forwards, and Rodney stopped him. "Open _mine_ first!" He whispered. Carson looked at him strangely but nodded. He stepped up to the pile. It was up to his waist! He picked up the one next to the pile, on the floor, with large words on it. It read-

_**FROM RODNEY**_

-and so he started to pick at the wrapping. God, was it heavy! It was rectangular, with pointy corners.. He could hear water in it, to.. He tried for a while, but then got impatient, shrugged, and ripped the rest of it off. He gaped at it. It was a_ fish tank_! With.. A _turtle_ in it! He was flabbergasted! He had always wanted a turtle.. But how had Rodney found that out..?

"I looked through your stuff.." Rodney came up and told him, as though he could read Carson's mind. Carson realised that his mouth was still open. He quickly closed it.

"I thought I told ye not to do that.. In fact, I thought ye were supposed to stop going into my office altogether, without my say so.." Carson replied suspiciously.

"I told him he could." Ronon said gruffly, walking up to join them. Teyla and John came up as well.

"We did not know what to get you," Teyla added. "and Rodney said that you used to always wanted a turtle, when you were younger."

"But, he wasn't supposed to tell you that he went into your office.." John growled, giving Rodney his evil eye.

"B-But-" Rodney started to argue.

"I don't mind.. Just as long as ye don't do it again, mind ye.." Carson interrupted. So he proceeded to rip open all the other presents. His previous prediction had been correct. There was 32 presents there. He had counted them as he opened them. He got things like- Biscuits, new T-Shirts, books, a golf club from John, another _huge_ cake made by Elizabeth and Teyla, some new socks from Rodney ("Your old ones.. Uhh.. Let's just say that they were 'lost'.."), a few bottles of wine, and a whole list of other stuff, that is too long to mention. When he finished, Carson turned to address the party.

"I really appreciate all of this.. I really do.. I can see how much trouble ye all have gone to, and ye really shouldn't of.. I think of ye all as very great, and close friends, and I would of resigned long ago, if not for ye all. Thank you." He ended his small speech, and a round of applause followed.

"A toast, for Carson, our Chief Medical Doctor, which many of would not be here if not for him.." Elizabeth said, after all the applause had died down. "Carson!"

"Carson!" Everyone repeated.

**_****...ooooOOOO^^^OOOOoooo...****_**

When the party ended, Carson walked out the door of the lab (as he had found out earlier), a bit unsteady. He hadn't drunk a whole lot of alcohol, but he had never been a drinker. Mostly everyone had already left, by the time he decided to go to bed. That must of been the best birthday yet! Everyone else had insisted on taking all his presents to his room for him. Thank god for that! He doubted that he could even carry that golf club at the moment, he was that tired! He hoped someone had fed the turtle for him..

This time he was taking the transporter! There was no way he was going to walk for half an hour just because John thought it was 'healthy'.. Well, that _was_ an lie, just to get back at him, anyway..  
Funny, where being a good man could take you in life...

_It turned out to be the first quiet Birthday on Atlantis.. Ever. And probably the last one to come..  
_

**END**

**A/N So, it turned out much better than I thought it would. And I might not be doing 5 stories. I didn't think that I'd get to 3,000 words on this one.. So.. Thanks in advance for any reviews, I'll reply to you in whatever way I find first, as this is my first story, and I'm not sure how I'll do it..For anyone that doesn't know- 'Cannae' is another word for 'cannot', 'wee' is 'little' and 'lad' is 'boy'  
**

**Anyway.. Thanks for reading! Cya, until next time!**

**-Zigzag Tiger ;)  
**


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